i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
