I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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