please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
