I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You took a bar mat shot.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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