I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize