windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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