in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
