My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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