Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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