Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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