no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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