Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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