i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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