i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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