Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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