In the future we'll all be gay
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We left the knife in your bed.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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