dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize