Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
