i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
