Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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