went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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