I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
My vagina is very pro this idea
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
