I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
