I think im going to throw up on grandma
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
