you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
