Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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