i just wanna soil my oats bro
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
