Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
