i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
