Can Purell be used as lube?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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