so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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