Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
