you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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