I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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