Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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