Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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