I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
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