So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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