No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
