thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
