I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
