I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
