So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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