u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize