I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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