Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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