# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
