Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
