It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
