I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
