Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
