yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
