i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
