right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
