Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
