I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
