you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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