I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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