you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize