i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
