we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize