Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
