Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm too high and old for this...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
