hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
