After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
